17 Signs You Fly Pretty Damn Often
To my traveling compatriots scattered around the globe, I hope you'll nod along. x
1. Every liquid, gel, and aerosol you own is, most assuredly, sized 3 ounces or less.
2. The last time you unpacked you toiletry bag, Bush was in office.
3. You now own more travel adapters than pairs of socks.
4. Most of your texts and emails begin something like "Hey, sorry for the delay - just landed!"
5. You spent more time getting ready for your passport photo than for your family portraits.
6. Selecting a seat on your flight involves an algebraic like equation with numerous factors, including, but not limited to: flight time, plane model, bladder levels and travel companions. Unfortunately, scientists and travel experts are still working to develop an accurate predictor for locating screaming children.
7. When purchasing something with change, you simply hold out a fistful of coins and say "Help.".
8. You have a fiercely complicated relationship with at least 4 airports. And, have considered changing your Facebook status over it. (For a list of airports I've learned to love, check out my piece on GoEuro's blog here.
9. Speaking of airports, nothing gets you from zero to fury like an airport without Wi-Fi. Really, IT'S 2014 PEOPLE!
10. Jet lag is now merely a condition of your existence. You've accepted it. Your loved ones have not.
11. This Christmas, said loved ones will undoubtedly gift you with a selection of luggage tags, passport holders, travel pillows and eye masks. (We appreciate the thought.)
12. The last time you spoke with the concerned people at Mastercard you had to inform them that you would now be "permanently traveling out of the country". And yes, the charges from Namibia were yours. (...or were they...)
13. The last 8 movies you've watched have been on a 6 x 8 inch screen.
14. You've seriously considered sacrificing underwear in order to make carry-on weight, because:
15. Checked baggage is an intolerable curse to be avoided at all costs. Period.
16. Speaking of bags, packing is both a science and an art. Anyone who says otherwise doesn't know how to pack. Or how to travel. Sorry. Not sorry.
And last, but certainly not least..
17. Ain't nobody - and I mean nobody - gonna get between you and your beloved passport. Can I get an amen?
*Authors Note: This piece is dedicated to my darling, beloved Passport, who at present is in the care (or so we hope...) of an unnamed country's Visa & Immigration Department. Wherever you are, I miss you. I can't wait to hold you again. I'll be here waiting. x